The following is a guest blog post, under the series “Rene Records”–Rene is currently incarcerated in a federal prison in Alabama. Please consider giving to her commissary fundraiser (funds are also used to support her reading group and fellow political prisoners). You can also support her boo here, as well as her co-defendant Cody, here. The best method of support for her other co-defendant, MJ, is to send donations to $JohnLungaho on CashApp.
An entry from my journal 7/29
here is what prison makes out of women:
crooked eyebrows. dodging giggling friends who asked you if you threaded them yourself. missing teeth and receding gums from lack of adequate dental care. dry hands from harsh bar soap and hard water. swelling from water retention due to a high sodium diet. various new pimples. staph infections, lanced with sewing needles in the showers. hep-c from stick n pokes. a limited gut biome.
reluctant conversations with newly-Baptised Christians. more knowledge of the 12-step program than you ever really cared to know (but you’re not complaining). misuse of the word “accountability.” beliefs in questionable conspiracy theories. a bizarrely regimented routine. increased aversion to public crying. the ability to understand many more Spanish words than before. the ability to understand “intercom-speak.”
newfound appreciation for beaded jewelry and crocheted things. newfound appreciation for coffee creamer. an arsenal of knowledge on uses for tampons and pads. ears highly-trained to listen for jingling keys and certain footstep patterns.
irrational irritation at not receiving emails in eight hours. irrational anger when no one answers the phone. atrophying friendships. atrophying families. angry children. mothering from behind a computer screen and a broken-down phone. surprise at letters from people you thought would never write you. surprise at silence from people you thought were your family.
getting half-dragged to the chapel, howling hysterically, because she just found out from an email–delayed by two hours—that her son passed in a sudden car accident. (furlough denied).
french braids. dutch braids. cornrows. cornrows on people who do not look good with cornrows. a rich culture of black natural hair care. high-risk maneuvers to acquire contraband makeup. toothpaste face masks. honey face masks. coffee face masks. still more new pimples.
emotional breakdowns masked by humor. emotional breakdowns masked by an overzealous fitness routine. loneliness masked by “hoe-strolling” and shower hook-ups and “FaceTiming” at the windows between housing units.
mass isolation. extreme resourcefulness. cultures within cultures within cultures. resistance, in the form of picking wild onions in the softball field and preserving them in oil filched from the kitchen, in the form of sneaking abolitionist newspapers into the meager library collection and unofficial book club meetings on Friday nights, in the form of illegal red lipstick and altered pants and wearing too many earrings on one ear.
not what prison makes out of women. what women make out of prison.
Rene is a queer Korean journalist, sex worker, political prisoner and beloved comrade. You can find her writing at Autostraddle • Truthout • ThoughtCatalog • Arkansas Public Media • and KUAR.